What should Africa call me?

When someone tries to translate for me in church

I’m just like,

When vendors suggest I buy this curio

I’m just like,

When an ex-pat acts like he’s not interested in me

I’m just like,

When someone offers me a dodgy drink

I imagine all they did was,

When I walk past someone peeing on the sidewalk

I’m just like,

When people mispronounce my name

I’m just like,

When I come back to the US after living in Africa

My friends and I are just like,

Whenever I have to get a new go-phone

I just tell the phone,

Daily motto for life in Africa

How I feel during the African winter