What should Africa call me?

When people speak to me in a high-pitched voice

I’m just like,

When the kiosk is out of bananas

I just want to be like,

When I want to avoid small talk on public transport

I’m just like,

How I feel when church lasts longer than an hour

When I don’t understand the local language and someone tries to have a conversation with me

I’m just like,

When I remember how many Tuskers I had last night

I’m just like,

When people ask what I’m looking forward to the most when I go back to the US

I’m just like,

When people ask why I don’t have friends in Africa

I’m just like,

When my friends take me to fast-food in the States

I will be doing this dance.

What I say to married guys who hit on me

I’m just like,